Am I ready?

Sure this question has popped into my head from time to time over the past 32 weeks, but it REALLY hit me when hubs and I were in our birthing class this weekend. Let's first start off that I thought the class started at 9.....yeah no, it started at 8 so we were about 40 minutes late. Oops! Hubs teased me and told me the baby is sucking my brain because I'm never wrong about times and being places. Good news is we didn't miss too much. Sitting through the class we learned a lot and both were very happy we decided to attend. After lunch it was time to tour the maternity floor. Now granted, I've already been to this floor for all 5 of my nephews births and have been in all the rooms so I thought it would be a breeze. That was until we were all standing in the L&D room. As she is explaining the steps of labor and how they get the bed ready for delivery I begin to panic. Am I ready for this? Can I do this? I just take deep breathes to calm myself down and say so many women have done this, you can too....Christ look what you've already been through in the past 3+ years! There was one husband in the group that actually asked if there was a place for the Husbands to go when the wife is in the L&D room. The midwife looked at him and then around the room and said, yup, right here. Told him they have cots that go in the rooms for the husbands to sleep on. I honestly would have been so embarrassed if hubs asked that questions! Do you really think you're gonna leave you're wife to go get some sleep elsewhere????
After the class we went to this one pub that has the BEST wings and started talking about the class. Hubs was funny in telling me things he never knew and that he's glad she told us not to panic and drive like a mad man when labor starts (we were told average labor for first child is 20 hours....awesome!). I told him that I started to panic when we were in the L&D room and said I wasn't sure I was ready or could do this. He looked me in the eyes and told me that I could. He knows how strong of a woman I am and that we've overcome so much worse in our marriage that this will be a breeze. Breeze....yeah probably not so much a breeze, but I got his point :)
When we got home all I wanted to do was take a little nap, knowing we'd be out late watching the Bruins game, but the neighbor's had a different plan for me. As we pull into the driveway we notice a band, that's right a band playing in one of their yards. I wanted to cry! Luckily I was able to get a good 45 minutes in before we headed back on the road to go see hubs family.
While we were driving hubs kept telling me about all the stuff he read in the book we got from the class. It made me smile that he seemed so into this now. Don't get me wrong, it's not like he was ignoring the situation of us having a baby, I just think he was scared of what was happening and not knowing what was going on. His mood/mindset has completely changed and it makes me so very happy. He touches my belly more, gives me kisses more (we are not the lovey dovey couple) and just makes me feel good about myself. Lately I've been feeling pretty gross. Perfect example was last night while I was getting ready to clean up after dinner he wanted to make sure I could carry both plates...yup got it. Then he jumped up and said he didn't want me lifting the garbage bag so he came in to help me. Normally he could have cared less and just let me do my thing in the kitchen - he knows how I get when I'm cleaning - so it was nice to see him be this way.
Now, let's see how long this will last ;)
So....am I ready? No, I'm not and I don't think any woman really is. I do know that whatever is thrown at us over the course of the next 8 weeks/delivery, I will be able to handle because I will have the greatest man next to me telling me I can do this.

What do you miss?

This seems to be one of the millions of questions people ask me throughout this pregnancy. What do I miss? There are plenty of things I miss.....certain foods, coffee, diet coke, glass of wine, iced cold beer (since it's summer and all!) but the one thing I really miss.....my shoes! Yes I'm that girl that loves her shoes and not afraid to admit it out loud.

Hello my name is Kelly and.......

Hubs and I just recently spent the night at Mohegan's for his 40th birthday and to give ourselves a night away from everything and everyone. I wanted to look nice so I packed one of my favorite pair of wedges....let's just say I made it down to dinner and right after back to the room to put my flip flops on. Normally I would not mind having to wear flip flops every day, but when there is such a wide variety of fun shoes to wear (hubs loves to remind me of how many there are) you kinda miss wearing them - plus your legs get a nice workout ;) So that, my friends is what I miss the most! HA!

In other news...I have recently started my new schedule at work due to the scare at L&D two weeks back. I work half days in the office and half days at home. Have to admit, LOVE it! I'm in by 6:30 and out by 11:30 - home by noon. It helps with the chores too as I do a little bit here and there during the week so I'm not doing it all over the weekend. 

We have our 30 week u/s tomorrow and can't WAIT to see our little bug! She better cooperate and give us some good shots. Her latest thing is she likes to stick something out to make the top of my stomach buldge out so I am curious to find out how she is positioned. Tomorrow should be a good day!!!

First visit to L&D

I never thought I would have to go there before (a) the scheduled tour or (b) before it was time. Last week was a little rough for me - started to have cramps and got worried so I called the nurses line and she told me to rest and monitor them, if they get worse to call back. I just went home and laid on the couch and rested, seemed to have worked. The next day the same thing but this time my back was involved which freaked me out a little more - left work early and called the nurses line again. No sooner was I through my door were they calling me telling me they want me to go to Labor and Delivery to make sure I was not in pre-term labor. Hung up with them and called the hubs.
I couldn't control the tears no matter how hard I tried to shake them off - they just started to flow. I wasn't ready, it's not her time to come home yet, she still has weeks to bake. As he's trying to calm me down and tell me that things are going to be okay I just paced around my bedroom looking for something to wear...because it's really THAT important when you go to L&D....yoga pants and t-shirt and I'm back in the car.
My family knew where I was headed - after the last time with my surgery I've learned NOT to hide anything medical related. My oldest sister called me and kept me on the phone while I was heading to hospital. As I got off the exit I stopped her mid-sentence and thanked her for keeping my mind occupied with other topics. She told me she loved me very much and to text her as soon as I know what is going on.
Up to the 5th floor I go - checked me right in and brought me to the 'waiting' area for a nurse to come and get me. I would say I was waiting for a good 30 minutes just shaking sitting there before someone finally came down to get me - apologized telling me they were so busy, which is understandable. They had me pee in a cup so they could do an analysis and then hooked me up to heart rate monitor for the baby and contraction monitor. As the nurse was asking questions and typing away I could feel another 'cramp' coming on....when she was all done she looked at the paper coming out of the machine and said, "oh you had one while I was typing. Did you feel that?" Um sure did lady, hence me being here. She was wonderful though - left me and when she came back to check she brought me more water and checked the papers again.
I kept looking at the monitor each time it happened and counted 6 total while I was there - but looking at the other screens (you can see everyone that is hooked up which is neat) some of these women's lines were pretty intense.....ouch!
After being hooked up for almost an hour she told me that I was going to go see the on call doctor as he wanted to make sure everything was okay - that the 'contractions' were not on top of each other so I should be sent home after seeing him....fingers crossed right? I was led down  the secret way the doctor's use to get from L&D to office and check in. Didn't have to wait too long since it was much later in the day. After meeting the doctor and being checked I was given good news - cervix is still closed! PHEW! Told me that I needed to rest the remainder of the week and exercising has been taken off the table.
By Thursday afternoon I was so bored - mind you it was Wednesday when this all happened :) But I did as the doctor ordered and rested. Everything seemed to have calmed down which made me feel much better. Until this morning :( Not sure if it was because I was walking around a lot yesterday or what the story is - so now I'm just keeping track of when they come and PRAY that I do not have to go back to L&D!
The past few days I just keep thinking why can nothing be easy? With everything we've done and been through to get to where we are today, one would think you'd be allowed an easy pregnancy, right? Well that's not the case with me and many other women out there....although there are some lucky ones ;)
The plus side is I spoke to my boss and one of the big bosses yesterday about working half days in the office and half days at home and they are both really cool about that - just need to speak to the owner and make sure he's good with it as well. Hoping to have that conversation today.