They will call you mid/late afternoon on Sunday to give you your transfer time. Since the last two transfers were always in the afternoon, I looked forward to sleeping in past 6:00. When I checked my phone and saw a message from them, I was shocked that they told me I had to be there by 10:00....oh and don't forget to get your blood drawn prior to coming in. Well there goes that plan of sleeping in.
Up early to head to my RE's office for my progesterone level blood work - which let's take a side street for a minute.....PIO's SUCK - they fucking hurt! I had the brilliant idea of trying the tops of my thigh the other night....BIG MISTAKE....HUGE! I was about halfway through and all I wanted to do was pull it out. Still feels like a giant charlie horse. My recommendation is DO NOT EVER DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! EVER!
Okay back to transfer day.....told the hubs I would pick him up at 9:15 (figuring that would give us plenty of time to get in since we'd only be 20 minutes away). HA! Once we hit a section in town, it was a parking lot....only to find out the reason was because they were doing tree work on the side of the road causing everyone to panic! I just about blew a gasket at that point. Weaved in and out of cars to get to the hospital...20 minutes late! As we were literally running across the street I could feel my phone going off....it's them. I tell them I am running in the doors and to the elevator and will be up in 5 minutes.
I get geared up and hubs gets his scrubs on. The nurse asked me how my bladder was and if I needed anything else to drink. I didn't realize how full it actually was until that moment.....yeah, I'm good on drinking anything else. Then we sat....and sat......and sat. I hear the doctor say he has to run to OR and will be back in 5 minutes. Um, what? There is no way you will make it down there and back in 5 minutes....crap I really have to pee. I get up and start to walk circles around the chair to alleviate some of the bladder pressure. One of the nurses asked if I wanted to empty just a little bit out of my bladder. Listen lady, if I'm going to the bathroom, I'm gonna empty all of it. There is no way I can just let a little out.
The doc finally makes it back - 20 minutes later! Runs over to me, tells me how perfect the blast is, sign some paperwork and off we go. He wanted to do a mock transfer first and that went as perfect as he wanted it to go. Now it's time for Nemo (for those of you that have seen the movie....we gave 'him' this name since 'he' was the last egg to survive). In goes the embryo and we wait for what felt like an hour. For some reason I felt the urge to cry. Why was this so emotional for me? Was it because I felt this might be it for us? Would we want to go through this all again?
30 seconds the nurse says.
Please God, let this little one snuggle in and stay nice and comfy for the next 10 months.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Thursday, August 21, 2014
It's a date!
Why haven't they called yet? They always call between 1-2! Was something wrong? Was my blood work screwed up? Did they see something during my ultrasound? I will give them until 3 before I call/have a complete melt down.
Yup - that was me. Bat shit crazy! I was so used to being called at the same time after every appointment, that when it didn't happen I took a turn to crazy town.
After I picked bug up from daycare I could hear my phone buzzing.....it was 'that' number'. Nurse Lisa - no clue who she is - was calling to tell me we have a transfer date! Thank you Jesus! She asked if they had my permission to thaw the embryo's....plural???? unless another one spontaneously appeared, we only have 1 swan! Yes, yes you have my permission. She then gave me my instructions for the PIO shots and to continue the estrace 2x a day.
PIO shots..........those fucking things hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have never had to be on them before, so when it came time to give the shot, I couldn't stop shaking! This needle is gigantic! I'm going to hit an organ! *knowing that would not be the case* I made sure I watched a video on YouTube (thank you ladies for making instructional videos!) and off I went. Grabbed my frozen bag of corn, the syringe, 22 gauge needle to replace the 18 gauge, alcohol wipes, hot cloth.
The video I watched showed me how to properly inject in the lower part of your back....place frozen veggies on spot for a few minutes, clean area, put majority of weight on left side so your muscles don't tense, stretch the skin, inject slowly. Put hot cloth on and massage for 5-10 minutes.
Mother of Pearl that sucked! I cannot imagine having to continue on these - God willing if all goes well - for 10 weeks. I would much rather shove suppositories up my lady bits than do this.
Tonight I might try the tops of my thighs.......just thinking about it makes me squeamish!
Yup - that was me. Bat shit crazy! I was so used to being called at the same time after every appointment, that when it didn't happen I took a turn to crazy town.
After I picked bug up from daycare I could hear my phone buzzing.....it was 'that' number'. Nurse Lisa - no clue who she is - was calling to tell me we have a transfer date! Thank you Jesus! She asked if they had my permission to thaw the embryo's....plural???? unless another one spontaneously appeared, we only have 1 swan! Yes, yes you have my permission. She then gave me my instructions for the PIO shots and to continue the estrace 2x a day.
PIO shots..........those fucking things hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have never had to be on them before, so when it came time to give the shot, I couldn't stop shaking! This needle is gigantic! I'm going to hit an organ! *knowing that would not be the case* I made sure I watched a video on YouTube (thank you ladies for making instructional videos!) and off I went. Grabbed my frozen bag of corn, the syringe, 22 gauge needle to replace the 18 gauge, alcohol wipes, hot cloth.
The video I watched showed me how to properly inject in the lower part of your back....place frozen veggies on spot for a few minutes, clean area, put majority of weight on left side so your muscles don't tense, stretch the skin, inject slowly. Put hot cloth on and massage for 5-10 minutes.
Mother of Pearl that sucked! I cannot imagine having to continue on these - God willing if all goes well - for 10 weeks. I would much rather shove suppositories up my lady bits than do this.
Tonight I might try the tops of my thighs.......just thinking about it makes me squeamish!
Friday, August 15, 2014
A letter to you
My Dearest Bug,
I am working on the checklist of what needs to be finished up for your first birthday party and cannot help but tear up. Where has this year gone? Why are you growing so fast? You too will be told this - and won't believe them either like I did - but it truly goes by with a blink of an eye.
You have grown so much and I love watching you study everything we pass, knowing you are trying to understand it all. You study everything and that is one thing I hope never changes with you. I hope you never lose that intrigue of how things work. You have taught me to do the same....you have taught me slow down, well when I'm not chasing you into the other rooms, you have taught me to slow down and understand things better. It's okay to stop and actually smell the roses....what you need to do will still be there.
You have taught me to be silly again - to make funny noises and faces at each other, no matter who is looking or where you are. You have taught me it's okay to be messy - it's nothing that soap and water won't take away. You have taught me to breathe - learn true patience, which I truly lacked before you were born. You have taught me to laugh for no reason at all. I could keep going.....
The most important thing you've taught me this year Bug.......unconditional love does exist.
I cannot wait to see what the next year has in store for us!
I am working on the checklist of what needs to be finished up for your first birthday party and cannot help but tear up. Where has this year gone? Why are you growing so fast? You too will be told this - and won't believe them either like I did - but it truly goes by with a blink of an eye.
You have grown so much and I love watching you study everything we pass, knowing you are trying to understand it all. You study everything and that is one thing I hope never changes with you. I hope you never lose that intrigue of how things work. You have taught me to do the same....you have taught me slow down, well when I'm not chasing you into the other rooms, you have taught me to slow down and understand things better. It's okay to stop and actually smell the roses....what you need to do will still be there.
You have taught me to be silly again - to make funny noises and faces at each other, no matter who is looking or where you are. You have taught me it's okay to be messy - it's nothing that soap and water won't take away. You have taught me to breathe - learn true patience, which I truly lacked before you were born. You have taught me to laugh for no reason at all. I could keep going.....
The most important thing you've taught me this year Bug.......unconditional love does exist.
I cannot wait to see what the next year has in store for us!
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Excuse me hurdle number 3
Not knowing what is going on is the absolute WORST when it comes to IVF. W.O.R.S.T.
Last night I couldn't sleep - I couldn't get comfortable. Between my head racing and my body gearing up for AF to come roaring in, I just tossed and turned....and man, do I look like a bag-o-shit today! ;)
Throughout the morning I was wondering if today was going to be cycle day 1. I just wanted an excuse to call the nurses line to see if I could get anymore information out of them. As the spotting got a little heavier I felt it was good enough to call. Sitting at my desk I was wondering if they would even consider this cycle day 1 or make me wait until a real full bleed............maybe I should have warned everyone about TMI............this post will have some TMI! HA
While my hand was reaching for my cell phone, a call comes in. Oh shit, that's a Boston area code. Why are they calling me? I can't answer! I can't cry at work anymore! I can't hear bad news! And just like that, my finger swipes the screen to answer the call.
It was Dr. So and So from Brigham's, we have your results. My body begins to shake uncontrollably....please God, just one....all we need is one good one. Begins to tell me that three were tested and out of the three that were tested - LISTEN, I know three were tested, just give me the results!!!!!!!!!!! - out of the three that were tested, you have one normal one for your FET.
All I could muster up was - all we need is one. Dr. So and So agreed!
One final hurdle to go!
Last night I couldn't sleep - I couldn't get comfortable. Between my head racing and my body gearing up for AF to come roaring in, I just tossed and turned....and man, do I look like a bag-o-shit today! ;)
Throughout the morning I was wondering if today was going to be cycle day 1. I just wanted an excuse to call the nurses line to see if I could get anymore information out of them. As the spotting got a little heavier I felt it was good enough to call. Sitting at my desk I was wondering if they would even consider this cycle day 1 or make me wait until a real full bleed............maybe I should have warned everyone about TMI............this post will have some TMI! HA
While my hand was reaching for my cell phone, a call comes in. Oh shit, that's a Boston area code. Why are they calling me? I can't answer! I can't cry at work anymore! I can't hear bad news! And just like that, my finger swipes the screen to answer the call.
It was Dr. So and So from Brigham's, we have your results. My body begins to shake uncontrollably....please God, just one....all we need is one good one. Begins to tell me that three were tested and out of the three that were tested - LISTEN, I know three were tested, just give me the results!!!!!!!!!!! - out of the three that were tested, you have one normal one for your FET.
All I could muster up was - all we need is one. Dr. So and So agreed!
One final hurdle to go!
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
I believe in signs
As Day 3 was approaching I couldn't help but wonder how my embabies were doing - were they going to call me with an update to keep me in the loop? Nothing. No call. The only thing that was keeping me sane was telling myself that no call meant we had to have a least one still going strong, right?
Day 4 passes - still no call.
Day 5 hits and today is the day they freeze who ever made it and send out for testing. God my stomach was in knots all morning - praying my phone would not ring. Hubs and I went to a baseball game that night and it was still hard for me not to let my head wander. We discussed about whether or not I should call, hubs told me I should. Deep down I think he might have been a little worried too, but will never admit it.
Day 6 arrives. Fuck it, I'm calling. The worst they can say is that I've had nothing make it to test and you are going to have to start all over. I went in to work late that day so I called before I left the house. As I dove into the mounds of paperwork on my desk, 'that number' comes across my phone. I asked her if she could please let me know how many made it to test. 'I'm sorry, I don't have that information up with me.' Well shit woman, you best find it - why else do you think I was calling!!!! What felt like hours - which I'm sure was probably a hot minute in real time - she informed me that we had 2 make it to Day 5 and that we have a total of 3 that are going to be tested (one from our first cycle that we froze). Well alright then. I can handle that for today. She told me she would call once she had the results/next protocol from my RE.
I emailed hubs to let him know the number and he was just as pleased. God, please let there be one normal in there.
While I was swimming in a sea of papers I suddenly stopped what I was doing and started to laugh. It hit me.
Let's backtrack for a second.
Driving in to work I was listening to the song Chandelier and the part where she's singing 1,2,3...3 I told myself that I would be psyched if they told us we had 3 today.
Back to me sitting at my desk laughing.....huh, would you look at that - we did end up with 3. Why hello random sign of the day. Maybe I should go play the lottery now!
One less hurdle to jump over.....Two more to go!
Day 4 passes - still no call.
Day 5 hits and today is the day they freeze who ever made it and send out for testing. God my stomach was in knots all morning - praying my phone would not ring. Hubs and I went to a baseball game that night and it was still hard for me not to let my head wander. We discussed about whether or not I should call, hubs told me I should. Deep down I think he might have been a little worried too, but will never admit it.
Day 6 arrives. Fuck it, I'm calling. The worst they can say is that I've had nothing make it to test and you are going to have to start all over. I went in to work late that day so I called before I left the house. As I dove into the mounds of paperwork on my desk, 'that number' comes across my phone. I asked her if she could please let me know how many made it to test. 'I'm sorry, I don't have that information up with me.' Well shit woman, you best find it - why else do you think I was calling!!!! What felt like hours - which I'm sure was probably a hot minute in real time - she informed me that we had 2 make it to Day 5 and that we have a total of 3 that are going to be tested (one from our first cycle that we froze). Well alright then. I can handle that for today. She told me she would call once she had the results/next protocol from my RE.
I emailed hubs to let him know the number and he was just as pleased. God, please let there be one normal in there.
While I was swimming in a sea of papers I suddenly stopped what I was doing and started to laugh. It hit me.
Let's backtrack for a second.
Driving in to work I was listening to the song Chandelier and the part where she's singing 1,2,3...3 I told myself that I would be psyched if they told us we had 3 today.
Back to me sitting at my desk laughing.....huh, would you look at that - we did end up with 3. Why hello random sign of the day. Maybe I should go play the lottery now!
One less hurdle to jump over.....Two more to go!
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