To breastfeed or not to breastfeed.....that is the question

Lately this seems to be the topic of conversation....might have something to do with this image

Shortly after we landed in the 'safe zone' of our pregnancy (let's face it, that place really does not exist especially if you are an infertilet) I wondered if I would be breastfeed, would it work for me, would I produce enough for my child....the only thing I kept saying is I will try - good old College Motto...really it is, Norwich University: I Will Try. 

After birth I was shocked at how quickly she latched and I thought...huh, what is all the fuss about this being hard....fast forward probably 24 hours to a screaming newborn, sleep deprived new mom and a nurse man handling my boob to try to get my daughter to eat. It wasn't working. I was failing. I couldn't do this. These were my thoughts - I broke down. The nurses are there to help you, support you, take care of you.....but some made me feel horrible that I couldn't feed my own child. They did everything they could think of before mentioning the word formula. Through blood shot, swollen teary eyes I said my daughter has to eat, if it's formula, then it's formula.

Why is formula so frowned upon? Kids from the 60's,70's, 80's were all pretty much formula fed babies and they all turned out just fine....hell I was a formula fed baby and I'm good! There is so much pressure on women to make sure they breastfeed their babies that it becomes too much. People need to realize it is a choice, some women are not fortunate enough to be able to produce for their babies, they have a difficult time with it. Do I think the women that try give up too soon??? Probably. It's hard. It's frustrating. It's heartbreaking. I ended up solely pumping because my daughter would become 'hangry' but would breastfeed if she needed to be topped off. Once I stopped pumping (for my own reasons) and we ran out of frozen milk, she was on straight up, good old formula. And guess what, she's good.....happy, healthy, fat formula fed faced baby.

To the women that breastfeed - more power to you....and more pennies in your pocket! To the women that don't....no worries, you only get dirty looks from the breastfeeding Nazi's once in a while ;)

*please note that last comment was meant as a joke.....there are some sensitive peeps out there!

Help Wanted

Looking for an extra set of hands - must be available between the hours of 4 pm -10 pm - must be willing to change blow out diapers, change diaper genie (or shit sausage as it is called in our home), put dishes in dishwasher, take out recycles, wash 500 pieces that belong to Dr. Brown Bottles.
Interested applicants please send resume to mommyneedshelp@goingcrazy.com

This help wanted ad could go on and on forever.

I finally broke down and looked at the hubs the other night and said, "I just need help." Within 10 minutes of me saying this I hear dishes being dropped in to the sink. As I place my head in my hands the only thing I can muster up is, 'DISHWASHER'.



This then led into a conversation of who does what in a friendly manner....you can imagine who won. It is not about who does what more, it's just that with his work schedule he is never really home to help out....which leads to an even more found respect for single parents....when he is home I still feel that I'm doing it all.
Yes I am the mother and that is the 'known' role - which I love said role, but once in a while it's nice not to have to lie about having to go to the bathroom just so I can have 5 minutes of alone/quiet time.

Love - Hate Relationship with Dr. Brown

This is how I feel towards these bottles! The crazy contraptions that they are....still not sure how the whole thing works, but it does it's job! We started off using the Avent bottles but since my daughter couldn't seem to get food down her gullet fast enough, she was having issues with them. Then I went and bought a 3 pack of the lovely Dr. Brown's.....heaven! Feeding was not spent listening to her choke because she was gulping too fast or crying because I had to keeping taking the bottle away! Again, Heaven!

The hate part of my relationship with these bottles....well, see for yourself:

I HATE washing these things - with a passion mind you. I was so good in the beginning about washing them right after each feeding....because that is what new mom's do, they stay on top of their shit to prove some kind of point that you are super woman and you can do it all. Now, well you can see they pile up in my sink until she's done eating for the day (this is a combination of her morning bottle, bottles from daycare and her night feedings and possibly one from the night before). I stood at the sink last night and just stared at them. Stared at all the pieces that I was too tired to wash - looked at the dishwasher and then back again. Knew the dishwasher wasn't an option as I needed to have 4 bottles ready to go for daycare the next day.....I have an issue with running the dishwasher with very few things in it.

I'm over them - all of their pieces - the blue tubes that they give you this elf sized brush to clean the inside - just straight up O.V.E.R. them!

Post Baby Bodies

This seems to be making headlines all over lately - this woman posting her AMAZING body 4 days after giving birth. Am I jealous that she looks like I did when I worked out 5 days a week for 2 hours a day and ate clean - you bet your squishy ass I am....but good for her. Who cares if she's posting a selfie (god I hate that term) of how great she looks.
Society has become so nasty when it comes to stuff like this. I wonder how people would react if someone posted a picture of their flabby belly and cellulite legs with the same caption. Everyone would be up in arms saying how gross that is to post a picture like that. Bottom line world, you can't win no matter what you do...so keep doing you and post your selfies (why does this word make my skin crawl?????)

While on the topic of working out - I have made a promise to myself that I will get back in to my routine Thursday - Sunday. These are the only days that my husband is home early enough at night to help with the baby.....guess who hasn't lived up to her promise and sat on the couch eating Doritos last night.....this girl! I won't beat myself up about it, I won't torture myself by depriving my body of what I'm craving. I've been down that road and I'm all set about visiting it again. I don't want to be that girl, especially now with the holidays, drooling over the display case at the bakery....um excuse me miss you are creating a giant saliva puddle, would you mind excusing yourself!