First few weeks home

We were lucky enough that our families were able to rearrange their lives to help us out once Hubs went back to work. I was unable to do anything for myself due to crutches/knee brace. I allowed myself two full blown meltdowns - one at the hospital when they finally allowed me to shower and the second time at home, again in the shower. I felt helpless. I am the mother. I am supposed to be the one that takes care of the family, and yet I could not do any of that. I had to have help in and out of the shower the first few days. I moved myself down to the couch so I didn't have to climb the stairs. I tried to make the best out of the situation but it was very difficult.
My mother was my hero - she took time off and stayed with us. She would come up on the weekends to stay with me while Hubs was at work. I do not know how we would have made it through the first few weeks at home without her or the rest of my family.
It was about 3 weeks or so after being home that I tested walking without the crutches - I should explain that they aren't the 'normal' ones, they were the ones that wrap around your forearm and you hold on to the handles. There were so many days I would get frustrated with not being able to move around with them that I just wanted to throw them across the room.....actually think I did at one point.
I was able to walk a short distance without the use of them so I felt okay moving around the first floor of my house - still needed them for the stairs.
I was going stir crazy - the only times I would leave the house was for doctor appointments and even then it was a struggle. During one of my moms visits we decided to take a trip to Target. This would be my first real trip walking without my crutches but still had the brace. I kept a strong face on each time my mom would ask if I was okay, if I needed to stop and go home. As much as I wanted to break down and cry and tell her that it was so much more difficult to walk than I imagined, I told her I was fine.
I wanted to fall to the floor and scream. My foot was not lifting no matter how hard I would tell it to. I constantly found myself tripping over it. Little did I know my mom was watching me and later found out she told my father it was so hard to watch me try to walk around. But I did it. I had to. I had a new little girl at home that needed me along with her sister.

Now enough about my sob story ;)

Our little peanut was a rock star at BF - the nurses would say how shocked they were about how easy that was for us. I just said something had to go our way and we would just giggle. She did really well sleeping and was up like clockwork every 3 hours. I was mainly BF her since it was going so well but eventually had to start to supplement. Again, had no issues with her adding formula into her diet. It was around 4 weeks or so that she was starting to sleep through the night. I don't mean to brag, but hey, I deserve some breaks after what I've gone through :)
Bug adjusted really well having a new child in the house - she loves to give her hugs and kisses and to steal her binky. I am over the moon in love with my children and love watching them bond each day.
There are days that are super hard I have to admit. Hubs and I decided that since daycare was more than our mortgage that I would stay home with them. I can honestly say I never expected being a stay at home mom to be as hard as it is, rewarding yes, but hard! I am very fortunate that we are able to do this for the time being (although I feel that Bug has lost some of her intelligence since she's been home with me :) ) good thing she will be starting pre-school in the spring! That statement scares me. It just proves that time really does go too fast.