Let the emotions begin! I went in for bw yesterday morning (had me come in early due to some spotting) and got the call that I can go ahead and start my meds the next morning. One problem with that - I haven't called them in yet!!!! Left a message to see if I can start tomorrow night and then back to the morning if the hubs isn't able to go pick them up - thankfully the place is only 15 minutes from his work.
As the day went on, I couldn't help begin to panic and play the what if game. I just wanted to close my eyes and have it be transfer time. The next month is going to be a tough one - especially with having to hide it all from our families - we joked last night that I would have to hide the bag full of needles since his mom watches bug at the house....that would be an interesting conversation!
Hubs got home with the meds last night and my stomach dropped as I was pulling it all out of the bag. Can I do this again? Am I ready to put my body/mind through it all? I know the answer is yes - I know I have no option if we want to expand our family.
Got up at my normal time and prepped for the first injection. 20 units???? What in the fuck?????? That's a lot of Satan juice!!! Maybe it won't be that terrible since they've told me this is the 'diluted Lupron'......yeah, we'll see!
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Friday, April 18, 2014
Fun Fact Friday
Because Throw Back Thursday is already played out ;) I thought it would be fun to give a little insight about me....not that many of you care, but just something to write about. Will try to keep it up every week, but cannot promise I won't miss a few!
I have 2 older sisters and 1 younger brother
My parents will have been married for 41 years come this May
I like to think of myself as a 'creative' person - hell I'm no Martha Stewart, but have always loved Art, Photography.
Rando fact: my right leg is 1/2" longer than my left!
I have 2 older sisters and 1 younger brother
My parents will have been married for 41 years come this May
I like to think of myself as a 'creative' person - hell I'm no Martha Stewart, but have always loved Art, Photography.
Rando fact: my right leg is 1/2" longer than my left!
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Don't post it if you don't want comments....
Good ol' Crackbook (aka Facebook) - keeps most of us entertained throughout the day. Let's us keep in touch with friends/family members. It let's us 'post' what we are thinking/feeling. But let's make one thing very clear, if you don't want to hear people's comments, DON'T post shit!
The other day a friend of mine posted the article about the guy who 'founded' Girls Gone Wild...Joe something or other....and his girlfriend are preggers - how they chose to do IVF and genetic testing. Above the article she posted how she was disturbed that this is what the world is coming too....that people are choosing to do IVF and testing. Cue me not letting this one go! I quickly responded saying my daughter was a result of IVF and genetic testing. I said that I am sure her whole story wasn't written as no one chooses to go through IVF and went on with a few more statements.
All of my comments were to educate her - nothing was meant to be mean or make her feel bad. I quickly got a PM saying how she was sorry about the post and took it down after she read my response because I was right and she didn't want anyone to think she was being insensitive.
First - wasn't the point of my response....Second - I know I was right with what I wrote because I lived it.
Second time was this morning when another friend of mine posted how they told their children there was no Easter Bunny. They are a very Christian family and said they never meant to celebrate the bunny, but made sure the baskets always had Christian things in there. This year they are going to focus on St. Nick and not Santa. Now the comments were nothing bad, just how people choose to do things their way. She came back guns blazing saying how she is not forcing their ideas down any one's throats...oh and she loved everyone. Pretty sure that was to make sure everyone knew she was 'speaking' in a friendly voice.
I rarely ever post on my wall for this very reason. There are a million things I could post but I really don't want to listen to the ignorant comments that I will probably have to listen to....because there would be. But come on people, you know as soon as you hit enter you are allowing everyone you choose to see what you post. You should expect people to comment on it. Not everyone is going to agree with what you say and you shouldn't bite back.....as a 5 year old would say.....you started it!
The other day a friend of mine posted the article about the guy who 'founded' Girls Gone Wild...Joe something or other....and his girlfriend are preggers - how they chose to do IVF and genetic testing. Above the article she posted how she was disturbed that this is what the world is coming too....that people are choosing to do IVF and testing. Cue me not letting this one go! I quickly responded saying my daughter was a result of IVF and genetic testing. I said that I am sure her whole story wasn't written as no one chooses to go through IVF and went on with a few more statements.
All of my comments were to educate her - nothing was meant to be mean or make her feel bad. I quickly got a PM saying how she was sorry about the post and took it down after she read my response because I was right and she didn't want anyone to think she was being insensitive.
First - wasn't the point of my response....Second - I know I was right with what I wrote because I lived it.
Second time was this morning when another friend of mine posted how they told their children there was no Easter Bunny. They are a very Christian family and said they never meant to celebrate the bunny, but made sure the baskets always had Christian things in there. This year they are going to focus on St. Nick and not Santa. Now the comments were nothing bad, just how people choose to do things their way. She came back guns blazing saying how she is not forcing their ideas down any one's throats...oh and she loved everyone. Pretty sure that was to make sure everyone knew she was 'speaking' in a friendly voice.
I rarely ever post on my wall for this very reason. There are a million things I could post but I really don't want to listen to the ignorant comments that I will probably have to listen to....because there would be. But come on people, you know as soon as you hit enter you are allowing everyone you choose to see what you post. You should expect people to comment on it. Not everyone is going to agree with what you say and you shouldn't bite back.....as a 5 year old would say.....you started it!
Thursday, April 3, 2014
We've all been there - searched through the millions of pictures, crafts, quotes and thought, wow that's a great idea, I can totally do that.
Now if you are Martha Stewart, chances are yes, you probably can. But for most people out there - not so much. I do admit that I go on weekly to look for ideas and can proudly say that I have made almost everything on my Food Board (some didn't turn out so hot, but others were great).
I have saved some ideas for future photo shoot ideas (getting more serious with my photography), saved ideas for birthday's, exercises and such. But some of the stuff out there....I mean come on, who the hell has that kind of time. For example:
A water balloon slip and slide. What in the......does it look cool, absolutely. But riddle me this batman - who in their right mind would sit and fill each one of these little balloons? Honestly? And how would it really work - once you get that running start, leap in the air and land, wouldn't they just pop????
*and yes, I do realize that this image went through photoshop - you would need a small army and a lot of patience to pull this one off
Now if you are Martha Stewart, chances are yes, you probably can. But for most people out there - not so much. I do admit that I go on weekly to look for ideas and can proudly say that I have made almost everything on my Food Board (some didn't turn out so hot, but others were great).
I have saved some ideas for future photo shoot ideas (getting more serious with my photography), saved ideas for birthday's, exercises and such. But some of the stuff out there....I mean come on, who the hell has that kind of time. For example:
*and yes, I do realize that this image went through photoshop - you would need a small army and a lot of patience to pull this one off
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Weekend with the family
This past weekend was family dinner down at my parents house (although my sister and her family were unable to make it....part family dinner we shall call it). I decided to go down in the morning so I had some time with my parents and didn't feel rushed to get there and then turn around and leave.
I was so excited that I could finally get bugs Chuck Taylor's on - when we got to my parents I asked my mom to take a picture - absolutely love how it turned out:
I was so excited that I could finally get bugs Chuck Taylor's on - when we got to my parents I asked my mom to take a picture - absolutely love how it turned out:
Here is another shot of her on my dad's basketball from when he was a kid....totally doesn't bounce anymore so not sure why they keep it:
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
4 years
Four years ago today - I was laying on the operating table with my life in the hands of the man I am forever indebted to. The man, and his team, that saved my life.
Four years ago today - my family sat in the waiting room for hours wondering what was happening, wondering how much longer would this surgery take, wondering if I was going to come out of this mess safely.
Four years ago today.....I will always and forever thank you Dr. Mo!
Four years ago today - my family sat in the waiting room for hours wondering what was happening, wondering how much longer would this surgery take, wondering if I was going to come out of this mess safely.
Four years ago today.....I will always and forever thank you Dr. Mo!
Monday, March 24, 2014
Thrown around too much
This post may piss some people off, so you all have been forewarned. ADHD - it seems now a days these letters are being spit out of the label maker and plastered on every kids forehead because they can't behave, or they don't listen. HEY AMERICA - they are children........Don't get me wrong, I do believe that some cases are actual real cases - I was tested in High School only to find out I, myself, had a Learning Disability, ADD among a few other things. What did my parents do? They for sure as shit didn't run to the local pharmacy and get me medication. We worked with it. We found new ways for me to study, new ways for me to remember what I read. There was never a band aid put on it and it was never an excuse!
Recently one of my sister's opened up to me about her oldest boy and having been 'labeled' this due to anxiety....he's 11!!!!! It was hard for me to swallow at first hearing what she was telling me but all I could was offer some suggestions that I used to do to help me organize my day to day activities. Then today, one of my girlfriends told me how her daughter is going to be tested for the same thing, she's 4.
Now I'm not saying I will be mother of the year, that my child will never act up or not listen, but I will tell you that when it comes to disciplining my child, I will follow through with my 'threats'.
This is where I think some of the problems stem from. I've seen it first hand with my girlfriend and her daughter - she got to the point of threatening to spank her bottom that her daughter would stick her bum out and wiggle it knowing nothing was going to happen.
Before I go any further - I'm not condoning beating your child....but I will say I was smacked on the bum, wooden spoon to the knuckles, soap in the mouth..guess what..I AM OKAY!!!!!!
This little girl has already been to the 'principal's' office and asked to be picked up numerous times from where she goes to pre-school due to her behavior - she's also been known for her violent behavior (throwing things at her mother and biting her).
It was very hard for me to have her around my daughter as I wasn't sure how she was going to be - when they came over for a visit not too long ago she was doing well, playing with me while her mom held my daughter. It wasn't until my girlfriend brought her upstairs that she flipped her switch - pulling on her shirt and telling her mom to let go of her all while she was changing my daughter, causing my girlfriend to loose her balance a few times. Cue Mama Bear and me taking over.
To me, and I am not a psychologist by any means, these kids shouldn't be 'labeled' anything other than: I'm going to act out because I can and know nothing will happen to me. So America, put the label maker down and look a little deeper.
Recently one of my sister's opened up to me about her oldest boy and having been 'labeled' this due to anxiety....he's 11!!!!! It was hard for me to swallow at first hearing what she was telling me but all I could was offer some suggestions that I used to do to help me organize my day to day activities. Then today, one of my girlfriends told me how her daughter is going to be tested for the same thing, she's 4.
Now I'm not saying I will be mother of the year, that my child will never act up or not listen, but I will tell you that when it comes to disciplining my child, I will follow through with my 'threats'.
This is where I think some of the problems stem from. I've seen it first hand with my girlfriend and her daughter - she got to the point of threatening to spank her bottom that her daughter would stick her bum out and wiggle it knowing nothing was going to happen.
Before I go any further - I'm not condoning beating your child....but I will say I was smacked on the bum, wooden spoon to the knuckles, soap in the mouth..guess what..I AM OKAY!!!!!!
This little girl has already been to the 'principal's' office and asked to be picked up numerous times from where she goes to pre-school due to her behavior - she's also been known for her violent behavior (throwing things at her mother and biting her).
It was very hard for me to have her around my daughter as I wasn't sure how she was going to be - when they came over for a visit not too long ago she was doing well, playing with me while her mom held my daughter. It wasn't until my girlfriend brought her upstairs that she flipped her switch - pulling on her shirt and telling her mom to let go of her all while she was changing my daughter, causing my girlfriend to loose her balance a few times. Cue Mama Bear and me taking over.
To me, and I am not a psychologist by any means, these kids shouldn't be 'labeled' anything other than: I'm going to act out because I can and know nothing will happen to me. So America, put the label maker down and look a little deeper.
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