Progression of the bump

It wasn't until this weekend while I was sitting at a friends baby shower did it start to sink in......I'm finally going to be a mom! Just loved how happy she looked and excited she was with everything - I will admit, I am excited but still cautious. I will be cautious until the day she is in my arms - just one of those things I guess with my history - I cannot help that feeling. I do check on her daily with our doppler and got a little freaked out yesterday when I couldn't find her - but thankfully the little bug had moved from her normal spot and heartbeat was beating nice and strong!
It was fun to see some of the people's reactions when they found out - some of these people I haven't seen since Christmas! One girl was too cute and said she didn't want to ask in case she was wrong.....it's okay, this isn't a beer gut ;)
I am finally starting to feel like I'm beginning to look a little preggers - instead of just looking like I ate too much. Here is the progression of the bump so far:

Excited for our next ultra sound - 18 weeks - which happens to be scheduled on my birthday....
Happy Birthday to Me!

Family

Let's talk about family! I love mine dearly and wouldn't know how I would have gotten through some of these times without them. Then there are days where I look at the caller id and just don't want to pick up...knowing if I don't, they'll call back and ask where I was earlier....Oh just ignoring your call because I didn't want to listen to all the questions.... I say in my head!
My mother has been wanting to have Hubs' parents at our house for dinner for a while now so they can all celebrate the baby. Great idea, sure no problem. Well Friday was that day. It was that day that I REALLY missed my wine. REALLY missed it! I had to listen to both mother's go on and on about making sure I'm eating enough and eating the right things - not sure if they missed the 4 slices of pizza I shoved down my gullet or not, but pretty sure I'm eating enough. Am I making the best choices in food - trying my best but if I want to sit and eat a half a bag of Cheetos, I'm gonna do that....oh wait, that's what I did yesterday.
But this comment was what took the cake! For whatever reason my mother went to get soap from my shower (guess she didn't like my hand soap) and I later found my Dove body soap on the counter.....knowing how she is and how she was growing up (let's just say we tease her and call her Mommy Dearest - rent it if you don't know what I'm referring too...hehehe) I busted her chops saying I'll put the soap back where it came from. I hope you are all sitting down for this one, and I quote: "I'm going to bring you new soap because you are not to use the Dove anymore."
Now if I can imagine what all your faces are right now, pretty sure it's exactly what mine was when I heard that too. I try to gather my head around this absurd comment and ask why - something about it not being paraben free. Um okay - I just let her have her comment.
After we get through dinner I just looked at hubs and said I was going to bed - it was a long night!
My parents made the trek back up to my house (my mother forgot her clothes) and we spent the late morning/early afternoon together.....with my paraben free soap! HA HA
I'm in no way going to tell her how delish it smells but I've been using it everyday ;) When I spoke to my middle sister I asked if she was this....let's use the word overbearing.....when she was preggers with her first and she said not this bad and she will talk to her.
Hubs and I went to dinner Saturday night for our Vday date and when we got home he was going through the children's cookbook my mother had brought up that was from the 50's.
As he was flipping through the book he calls for me to come into the den:
"So your mom does not want you to use Dove soap but wants us to cook for our kid using these recipes that call for MSG in almost all of them?"
I nearly peed my pants from laughing so hard.....YES, I have ammo to fire back at that stupid parabens comment! When I got a chance to speak to her the next day all she could do was laugh and said it's just a collectible cookbook!

Delivery dilemma

We had our monthly OB appointment this morning - the way in....man oh man you can tell that I'm not used to traffic anymore (helps when I get to work at 6:30 am and leave by 3:30 pm) but holy hell was traffic horrendous and for no reason what so ever. Gotta love 9:00 am traffic jams!
Met the hubs at the hospital and wait to get called in. I was so scared for this appointment because of a nightmare I had last night - when I woke up in this nightmare I was bleeding and it wouldn't stop. This was the first real bad dream I've had and I can tell you it was enough.
Doctor started going over things from my blood work - need to get a booster shot after delivery because my antibodies from the vaccine I received as a kid were not measurable...but nothing to worry about. Discussed the Maternit21 test results and how they all came back with no concerns. Told me to schedule my next u/s appointment, which was already done. We then began the discussion on how to deliver this little girl again. She is still on the fence and so is her team - some say they would section me others say they wouldn't. There are a few more doctors that she is going to reach out to and then I will speak to the doctor when I go get my u/s (they are keeping me in the genetic office for these). I just told her all I cared about was the safest way.
Because my situation is so uncommon and unheard of they are having a hard time figuring this all out. There are no cases to study, no research to look up, nothing. If I do a naturally delivery there is a chance for the hole in my uterus to reopen - if they do a c-section they are unsure what they will find inside and could cause damage which could lead to another ileostomy (worst case for both options). She keeps saying a 1% chance, a 1% chance...well Doc, let's look at my history and the 1% chance of things happening that actually did happen. It's just a very delicate situation that needs to be thought through tremendously. One thing that she did correct me on when I said the safest way, was that it needs to be the safest way for both of us (I just said for the baby) I'm not thinking about me, all I care is for her to be safe. I have struggled too long and too hard and battled so many obstacles to not have that be my number one concern.
My safety, yes....but hers is first!
Conversation ended and she was eager to get to the heartbeat.....I did tell her I cheated and found it already. Within seconds of putting the doppler on my belly there my little girl was - nice, strong heartbeat! Atta girl!

Testing, Snow storm, going public

Hubs and I went through with the Maternit21 testing and went back this past Wednesday for the u/s part of it - apparently it was a little too early for me when I was there for the blood work....you would think they would have told me when they booked the appointment since they knew how far along I was, or when I was there but no, take more time off work and head back.
Thankfully she's all okay - wasn't cooperating very well for the tech: was laying on her stomach and not moving around. After the tech left I started shaking around and poking my belly to get her to wake up....when the doctor came in to speak to us she assured us that everything looked great and wanted to get a better picture for us. She was bouncing all over the place and saw her put her hand in her mouth, which was so crazy to see.

This was the best shot they could get for us. But there she is......little Amelia!

The past weekend was spent trapped in my house as the hubs banned me from going outside or touching a shovel. Think we ended up with close to 2 feet of snow. I know it's New England and we are supposed to get snow, but when we've been spoiled for the past few years with nothing really bad, you get used to it! Now I'm ready for it all to go away.
Another big step for us this weekend was going public. I was so scared and felt like I was going to throw up before making it 'facebook' official. Now that we did it feels good to not to have to hide the little belly bulge I'm sporting and to see the love/support from everyone is so wonderful. I also told the ladies in my office and a few others that have been wondering if I'm okay due to the coming and going a lot lately.....they were all thrilled and said they figured that is what was going on - mind you I found out later that one was talking sh** about how I was never in the office....really? I don't work for you so mind your business and lock it up!

26 weeks and 6 days left to go!

Totally slacking

I was doing so well at keeping this blog up to date and then bam total slacker lately! Life has been moving right along nicely, with my morning hugging the toilet, but hey this girl cannot complain - worked too hard to not feel this way right?
We had our Maternit21 testing this past Friday and I almost walked out of the office. They had us sit with a genetic counselor first for whatever reason. She wasn't the same one we met with when they dropped the bomb on us about me being a carrier...and boy do I wish it was. After she introduced herself and said she's been trying to find the letter/file on us, jumped right to 'why are you here? why are you doing this test?'
I was taken back at first and said it was recommended by both doctor's so we are going with their suggestion. Started to go on and on about how this one only tests for this and the amniocentesis tests for this and then explained the difference between two of the tests with the needle (which hubs knew I wanted NO part of). I just felt that we were wasting her time and were bothering her. Hubs got to the point where he couldn't take her rudeness anymore and snapped back - told her that with the PGD testing we had a very high chance of her being okay. They doctor's wanted us to make sure everything was covered so that is why we are here. I love that man!
She seemed to have gotten the picture - I think she would have gotten it more if she was more prepared with all of our paperwork/history before bringing us in, but hey that's just my thought.
Our appointment sheet said blood work and ultra sound - well I wasn't down for an ultra sound and was furious (mainly because I just wanted to see her again). They took my blood and sent me on my way. Rush home to try to squeeze in a quick nap before the Bruins game we were going to that night but didn't have much luck.
Had a lot of fun at the game but not sure how many more I'll make this year (not that it's a long season). Being at the game and not being able to enjoy a cold beer just wasn't the same...hahahah makes me sound like a lush, but you know what I mean. Was a late night and up early the next morning for one of my nephew's hockey games.
Spent the afternoon shopping with my mom and ended up buying stuff for Amelia - I always feel like I'm jinxing it by doing stuff like that. Couldn't resit though - got her the cutest little bathing suit....yes, she will be a beach bum just like her mother! Once we got back to my house my parents left and I started to watch the movie Heathers (loved that movie). Remember the first 15 minutes and then when I woke up it was the ending....really! Wasn't feeling so hot so I took it easy and then got ready for dinner with the hubs family.
Sunday marked 11 weeks. I still can't believe I'm saying it - took my first belly shot for the Mafia IVFers and rested the rest of the day.
Hubs ordered a Doppler for home so I'm super excited to try that bad boy out, but know I have to keep in mind I might not be able to find it. We don't go back until the 13th - which seems forever and a day away.

Still growing strong

We had our first OB appointment yesterday. They brought me back for blood work, urine, blood pressure and weight (which I think their scale is WAY off....just sayin' - HA). Grab the hubs and start heading to the room - when I was then informed they were going to do a pap....awesome! I do as I'm told and get undressed from the waist down and look at the hubs who is just staring at the counter.....
Hubs: 'what is all that stuff for?'
Me: 'oh, you'll see!' hahah
Our doctor comes in and she is so thrilled that we are finally preggers and so begins the conversation. We went over everything from diet, exercise all the way to delivery methods. Due to my previous surgery (thank you again Dr. F*** Face) there are complications with both normal delivery and c-section. As we went over what those would be I just stopped her and said all I cared about was what was the safest way. If I get another scar, big deal.....seriously 3 on my stomach now, what is one more right? Then she tells me we aren't doing a pap so she wasn't sure why I was told we were.....awesome, sitting there butt naked for no reason! HA
She tried to see if she could hear the heartbeat (told me the chances were low because it was too early) so I asked for an u/s! I had to make sure everything was okay. I had to know Amelia was still with us - yes we have her name picked out :)
We were able to get in for an u/s right after lunch and I was over the moon thrilled. She laid me down and asked to just pull my pants down a tiny bit - as I was ready to rip them off again....laughed at myself for being so used to dropping my drawers every time I walk into a doctor's office!
And there she was - nice strong heartbeat and measuring a couple days ahead from the last time. The tech zoomed in and we were able to see her wiggle. It was one of the most amazing things to see, I couldn't help but tear up. We've been through hell and back and to be able to see that, was amazing. Even though she still has a tail, she's starting to look a little bit more like a human.
The hubs was so cute with his big smile on his face and saying how cool it was to see her move like that so early on - kept asking me later that night if I could feel her kick :) love that man so much!
Our next venture is Monday when I go in for the Maternit21 testing - we chose to do this basically so all parties are prepared if God has something planned for us. That and I felt way more comfortable knowing it was strictly blood work.
Now just going to relax and enjoy every day - even if it starts off face first in the toilet :)

Family is in the loop

The cat is finally out of the bag with both of our families! We drove down to my parents house Sunday for my dad's birthday and made him open his gift before taking them out to lunch:

I recorded his reaction and it was priceless - he got all teary eyed and then turned it to show my mother who just screamed and covered her face. I had to stop recording then because the tears started to flow but wish I kept going. I asked her if she read the bottom frame and I'm surprised the neighbors didn't come over from how loud she got! My youngest nephew (who is 4) was staying with them while my sister was at the hockey tournament with the rest of her family came into the room and asked what was going on. We told him he was going to have a baby girl cousin and he responded, "but I want a baby brother"....yeah good luck with that one kid! After my mother's heart started beating at a normal pace again she leaped up and went into one of the back rooms and came out with a box. It was a box my grandmother had started when my middle sister was first pregnant (12 years ago). I opened it up and it was a box of girl clothes.....she finally got her great granddaughter that she can now protect from above with the rest of my family upstairs!

Had lunch and then waited for my other sister/her kids and brother/wife to arrive. My mother had positioned the frame on one of the end tables but couldn't wait for them to find it on their own....so impatient she was :)
My sister was sitting next to me on the couch with her head on my shoulder and my mom asked if she wanted to see what we got dad for his birthday and just pointed. She immediately covered her face and started to cry - I just busted out laughing. Then cried some more when she got up to read what the bottom frame said. My brother had a huge smile on his face and said he knew and my sister in law's face was priceless - she looked at us like it was a joke and then realized it wasn't and ran over to give me a big hug and cried......lots of tears of joy :) Going to be a very busy summer with babies: my godparents daughter is due at the end of June - my sister in law is due at the end of July - and I'm due towards the end of August.