How are you feeling?

Pretty sure if I could drink during pregnancy I would absolutely make this into a drinking game! Before 9:00 this morning I have been asked at least a dozen times - I am thankful they care enough to ask, but in the back of my head I wonder, do they really care how I'm feeling?
I also give the same answer - I feel good, because I'm sure they don't want to hear the other answers I have on some days....oh the feel alright, just having a little pressure in my who ha......you know stuff like that. Mind you I work in a male dominated industry so that might make them run for the hills :) hmmm....maybe that's not a bad idea! The best was yesterday when one of the guys looked at me and goes, "Wow, you popped". Politely say, I sure did, almost 7 months along, gonna happen.....in my head I have other choice words! :)
I do hate complaining about not feeling well because of everything we had to do to get to this point and all the amazing women I've met who are still going through all of this. So most days I just keep it inside and put a smile on and carry on about my day. Last night though, hubs knew how uncomfortable I was as soon as he got home. It was hotter than Haiti upstairs in our bedroom, he quickly went back downstairs to turn on the central ac....and thank goodness it worked! I was laying like a starfish at one point trying to capture all the cool spots on the bed!
Gearing up for back to back baby showers starting this weekend - then it's glucose test time next Friday! I pray that I pass!
On top of all of this - hubs turns 40 in a few weeks so we are having a party for him. No surprise, thank goodness - he wanted to make sure of that and made sure if there was one, payback is not fun! SO my surprise gift to him is taking him to Mohegan Sun for the night.....just pray he isn't too hung over the next day - will make a for a very long car ride :)

Week 17 - Week 25

Thought this was fun to see the progression really starting to show

3 more months

I still cannot believe it! We've been through so much over the last 3 + years that it's finally hitting home that in 3 more months we will be a family of three! I still wake up wondering if this has all been a dream or not. I still check the toilet paper in fear of blood. I still count my blessings every single day that so far we are all still okay.
My goal was to have her nursery done by the time we hit the third trimester - a little over two more weeks to go and it's not looking promising! Her crib was delivered the other week and I LOVE it! Cannot wait to get her mattress from my parents this weekend (early shower gift) so I can put the bedding in and see how it all looks. The changing table keeps getting pushed back for delivery which is making me angry but nothing I can really do about it, right? Hubs will work on the closet tomorrow when he's home and hopefully that will be done by the time I get home. Still need to find a rug and a few more things for the walls....I guess I'm not in that bad of a shape to have it finished.
At our last OB appointment I wanted to speak to her about my back - holy hell does it hurt! I have sciatica and it's no joke! I've dealt with it on my right side since high school off and on - but every day to the point where my leg gives out is pretty scary! She suggested a chiropractor, which I've been to plenty of those appointments, but something about getting snapped while being preggos just doesn't sit well with me. Yes I know they are trained to move you differently while you are pregnant, but still. Doc told me it's only going to get worse - Thank you for that! Bottom line - put your big girl pants on and suck it up!
Weight is not a concern to her as she said I'm all belly - but I refuse to look at the scale when I go now. Our next appointment is the glucose test one! I'm lucky that they gave me the drink already - which I've told Hubs it is NOT orange soda so do not drink - will work from home that day so I can chug a lug and drive right in for the test and pray we pass!
Belly is really starting to pop - even though so many people have told me I'm so tiny for being 6 months along - I DO NOT feel tiny. Every night I lay in bed and just watch her move around - the other night when Hubs got home he walked into the room and when he looked at me he said, 'wow you really look pregnant now' :) I think it's starting to hit him too that very soon he's going to be a dad. He was joking with me the other night that he wasn't sure he really signed up for this.....had to remind him that he was the one that did leave the 'sample' for me numerous of times during all of our treatments, so yes, you surely did sign up for a kid!

Too close to home.....

With all the events that are happening in Boston I just can't wrap my head around any of it. On Marathon Monday, a day that is supposed to be full of support/cheers/happiness, was quickly taken away. I had so many friends that were down there/running that I couldn't focus on anything but to make sure they were all safe. Thankfully they all were. I couldn't stop watching the news - that was until I heard the first death announced was an 8 year old boy. I sat on my couch and started to ball. I thought of the father who lost his son, daughter lost a limb and his wife in extreme critical condition. I put my hand on my belly and said I'm sorry that the world is not the same that it was when I was younger and you are going to have to see all of this maddness growing up.
When the hubs and I were discussing it I said this person took all the hard work and dedication away from all of these people that were not even able to complete the race. They took away their carefree freedom when they are running, and they took away family/friends/loved ones!
I became angry that someone could do this - why? What point are you trying to prove? We are a strong city - we pull together - we will not let you tear us down - we will not let you see weakness - You will be found and you will pay.

Things people say

This is going to be a hodge podge of thoughts as it has been one of those weeks! Let's start off at the end of last week when the hubs sent me a text telling me friends of ours are pregnant...AGAIN!!!!!!!! Mind you they just celebrated their 2nd son's 1st birthday. As happy as I am for them I am then told this the following day: he said they just had sex once and bam she's pregnant. They weren't even trying. Really? Is that something you want to share with someone who's been struggling for years with infertility......I know no harm was meant because non-infertiles have zero clue when they speak, but come on! ONE TIME! What did you do, travel back in time to when you were in high school when getting pregant after having sex one time was a big scare.

Now on to this week. It's been one thing after another......I've been told I don't even look pregnant all the way to one woman telling me I look like I have a watermellon. Now, I don't know what it is but my whole body cringes when this one woman makes these comments. It's someone I work with and is literally the only one that has told me I look big! I don't even think I look big! Here I am at 21 weeks:

Granted it is a bit bigger by the end of the day, but really? Lock it up!

The other thing that I love is when I'm asked how I'm feeling, I am always reminded that it will only get worse. That I'm going to be miserable during the last 3 months because it's going to be the summer months. Hey, jack holes.....thanks for the kind words and for reminding me I'm going to be a hot mess towards the end of my pregnancy....but mine will go away - what's your excuse for looking like a hot mess on a daily basis? ;)

Enought of the rants.......

In other news......her room has been painted and I love how it came out! Furniture has been ordered and the crib will be here by the end of next week *fingers crossed* - changing table should be shortly after due to it being on backorder. She's been moving around like a mad woman - she's literally going to town right now and makes me laugh with each kick/punch - love it!

That's about all for now....

Happy Birthday To Me!

Leading up to this day I was a ball of nerves. Even though I would check on her every day to make sure her heartbeat was still strong, I still had that fear. Yesterday I pushed through work just watching the clock until it hit noon time to be able to head down for my first appointment. I was trying to engage the hubs in conversation while we waited to be called in but I think he was just so worried about work as there was only one manager in the building - so I think his fears were things were going to be a disaster by the time he got back ;)
Call us in and globs the ultrasound gel all over my belly - huge weight lighted off my chest......there she was moving around like a mad bug! Everything looked great and there was no cause for any concern. I asked if there was any chance to see her in 3D (figured it wouldn't hurt to ask). When she turned it on we both went....'oh, she doesn't look so cute' HAHAH but we were able to get a pretty neat profile picture

She still looks a little creepy but it's okay - she's perfect! Even with half of her head missing....hahaha the tech told us it was because she rotated the image to get the profile, her head is perfect :)  

The doctor was the next to come in with one of their new partners - they went through all the pictures and then took another look. She wanted to get a better picture of the 4 chambers but someone was being a punk - literally had her arms crossed across her chest! HA but she finally was able to get a good look and said heart is perfect.

I still can't get over how we went from having a ball of cells as her 'first' picture to this! Amazing!

Hands down - this was the best birthday gift ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Month of March

This month used to be full of excitement - spring was around the corner, St. Paddy's Day, my birthday..... Three years ago on March 16th our world was taken away from us - our little angel was sent up to watch over us. I always wonder if it was a boy or a girl, what they would be like now. I know people say you cannot live in the past, but this will always be something I will wonder and will cherish my little angel - always! The hubs gave me a necklace that Christmas that is an angel wing and I have yet to take it off!
Every year on March 25th I thank Dr. Mo......the man that saved my life. There will never be words to express my gratitude towards him and his staff, nurse Nazi (as I called her in the beginning) for pushing me to get out of the bed and walk in the hallway - even if it just started out by making it to the next room. The members of this hospital staff helped show me how strong of a person I truly am. That I can overcome some of the toughest obstacles the Big Guy has for me.  I think of how my whole family dropped everything and drove into Boston to sit and wait - wait for the outcome of my surgery. I am so truly blessed to have such an amazing family and thankful for each and every one of them! All of my friends who called, sent flowers, came to see me while I was in the hospital - again, one very lucky girl.

I will continue to show him my strength - each and every day, and this little girl that is growing inside of me will have the same strength and motto, "Put your big girl pants on and figure it out. You have no other choice."

This is what the month of March has turned in to for me.......remembering the horrible loss, nightmare emergency surgery, support of family and friends. I look in the mirror every day and say thank you